[ she's used to not relying on anything but her fists, and so this type of fighting is just her style. she watches him fight and the realization that he's waiting for something, like - fire, like the fire he's probably worked with his whole life, and it makes her hurt a little worse. still. she hopes she gets in a few punches and that he gets a few of his own in return.
but when he aims for her ankle, she lets out a wounded sound, a snarled bit of a noise that rips her throat up. that one actually really gets her, and she has to - stop, lifting her hands up. ]
Stop. Stop, okay. [ she spits blood off to the side, shifting back. she's beat to fuck, and it feels - not good, but satisfactory. ]
[Honestly not any less beaten than she is - he leans to the side to spit out some blood, it's fine. It's fine! He realizes he basically cheated to get her to stop. As soon as she declares stop, he backs off - just sinking back to sit down heavily, panting.]
[ it's just that self destruction is the one thing she's really, really good at. she shivers. maybe there is something to burning out completely. ]
I know. [ she hugs her knees. ] I keep saying I can't let this happen again. But it keep does. And now - now all of you, I know all of you. I can't compartmentalize like before because I didn't fucking talk to the victim.
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madburnout) wrote2020-02-21 06:57 pm
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but when he aims for her ankle, she lets out a wounded sound, a snarled bit of a noise that rips her throat up. that one actually really gets her, and she has to - stop, lifting her hands up. ]
Stop. Stop, okay. [ she spits blood off to the side, shifting back. she's beat to fuck, and it feels - not good, but satisfactory. ]
no subject
. . . They are going to try and save him.
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I know. [ she says, softer. ] I know they are. I can just - I can still -- he's my main connection this week. And he's - and I care about him.
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[Sorry!!! He actually . . . looks a little guilty about that. Putting a hand up to his mouth. He's not used to bleeding? He never used to.]
You are allowed to grieve.
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you're allowed to grieve, he says, and she thinks about how hunter is feeling, and pulls in on herself. ]
He's not a monster. He's still in there. [ she says it because she knows. ]
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[Just like Babo Kim, just like NHS.]
You are allowed to grieve, but you cannot destroy yourself as well. We still need your help.
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I know. [ she hugs her knees. ] I keep saying I can't let this happen again. But it keep does. And now - now all of you, I know all of you. I can't compartmentalize like before because I didn't fucking talk to the victim.
It's going to get harder the longer we're here.
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. . . From flame to ashes, from ashes to earth.
[. . . ]
You asked how the Burnish say goodbye.
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[ she repeats after him, softer. ]
I'll keep it with me. Thanks. That's - really important.